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readily defeatism and disappointment in his plans and aspirations and has little
faith in his own ability. He develops feelings of insecurity about his livelihood,
his hope of success, and the esteem of other people; he develops also a clinging
helpless attitude to those around and is constantly needing reassurance.
If the demands of his parents are too great and their standards too strict
the child develops feelings of guilt because of his inability to conform to their
wishes. He becomes indifferent, stubborn and rebellious, hostile and disobedient,
cruel to other creatures and destructive. If this conduct is continued
to adolescence and beyond he turns out to be a rebellious, stubborn and
indifferent boy, bad tempered, cruel and destructive. As a man he will be
fearful, anxious, and unco-operative; he will be hostile to society, obtaining
revenge for rejection by breaking rules, disobedience, and delinquency.
If the child, although able to conform, is allowed to disregard his parents'
wishes, he will become spoiled—that is untrained in obedience to discipline.
He develops habits of gluttony and over-dependency. In later life he tries to
get things without effort and indulges excessively in food and drink, and becomes
selfish and heartless.
If the child is neglected in the basic need of food his growth rate will be
slow and his general health poor. If this is continued he will grow to adult
life stunted, ill-developed, unhealthy, and possibly apathetic.
Infant School Stage.
When the child reaches infant school age the personality has to develop
over a wider field; he has to learn to conform to the wishes not only of parents
but of his teacher and other adults and his playmates. Especially does he need
to feel that he is wanted and loved by them; and in order to keep in good
standing he will go far to conform and submit to their wishes. He learns to
imitate his parents, teacher, older brother or other hero because their conduct
must be acceptable. If he develops this habit to excess he may grow up to be
too submissive, always conforming to the wishes of someone else or of his
group. He will develop the trick of identifying himself with a hero or a national
figurehead, or his manager, or the chairman of his group.
The child will also take much trouble to learn many things so as to try to
be not less competent than the person or group he imitates; he therefore needs
much information and answers to many questions, including how he came into
the world. The habit of learning is good, but it can sometimes be used to turn
the person into a ' smart Alec ' or ' clever guy ' in order always that he can
outdo his associates, and this habit may continue. If the child is given false
answers to his questions, especially those about sex, he will develop an uneasy
mistrust of his parents. He may grow up in the belief that sex activity in
married life is inherently wrong; this attitude of mind can cause serious unhappiness
in his own marriage.
So strong is the desire to keep in good standing that the child, when he falls
from grace, is not averse to throwing the blame on someone else for his own
misdemeanours or shortcomings; in later life this habit leads to unreliability and
lying.
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