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30
and good will restored. Other causes for quarrels
have been muddy shoes , overflowing wash hand basins,
electric fires left on all night, thoughtless gossip,
and deafness which led to suspicion. So often I have
no remedy to offer, but I listen and a ready listener
may be all the old person needs. A grievance is often
whittled down from a mountain to a molehill by being
poured into an unbiased ear.
Loneliness is not so prevalent as the press and
popular opinion would have us believe. Where it is a
problem I try to find a friendly visitor from some
unofficial source, but organising of a visiting service
is a full time job fraught with difficulties and I know
the pitfalls but lack the time and opportunity to take
steps to avoid them. Therefore my introductions
sometimes fail lamentably.
Living alone and being lonely are two entirely
different situations. One can be lonely in spirit in
the midst of a crowd, and many persons living with
their families are lonely because they are shut in a
little back room while the remainder of the household
are enjoying themselves elsewhere. I am no
longer surprised at the number of old persons who
occupy a room with the plaster flaking from the
ceiling, and with drab dirty wall paper. I find them
almost daily in houses where all the other rooms
are bright and attractive. No wonder they feel lonely.
The state of being alone caused by death or other
unavoidable partings is bearable; this being rejected
by one's family is the bitter pill; the true loneliness.
No Voluntary Visitor can take the place of the neglectful
daughter who lives close at hand yet never
calls, or the son who retires to bed without saying
"Goodnight".
I continue to feel that the very best place for
the majority of elderly persons is in a home of their
own with domiciliary services to help them maintain
it, and to supply their personal needs.
The Domestic Help Service is the most practical
of all Services, but is still understaffed. When
Helps are ill or on holiday those whom they serve
often have to do without help until they return, and